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Scared of a stick
Jan. 7th, 2005 03:31 pmAF was due for me today, but she's a no show. Of course, I am only 11dpo.
DH asked me again this am to test, but I keep putting it off. I told him maybe Monday. He said that I had told him that I would do it tomorrow.
(I used to think he wasn't much into this TTC thing, but I have found the last few months that is totally not true.... )
I think I'm scared of that stick. I have my excuse for my symptoms (progesterone), and I am totally freaked by the idea of finding out whether I am actually pg or not. I think I don't want my hopes to be shot down. Maybe, I just like secretly believing that I am pregnant, while pretending that I'm not....
And even if I am - I still have 2 months til I would be out of the first trimester. That seems like forever.... but that is the imaginary goal that I have set for myself. I don't trust the first u/s or the heartbeat, or any of that, because I had that before....
Maybe, I can hibernate and wake up 4 mos pregnant. What do you think? I'd still get to experience most of it, and wouldn't have as many of the worries.
DH asked me again this am to test, but I keep putting it off. I told him maybe Monday. He said that I had told him that I would do it tomorrow.
(I used to think he wasn't much into this TTC thing, but I have found the last few months that is totally not true.... )
I think I'm scared of that stick. I have my excuse for my symptoms (progesterone), and I am totally freaked by the idea of finding out whether I am actually pg or not. I think I don't want my hopes to be shot down. Maybe, I just like secretly believing that I am pregnant, while pretending that I'm not....
And even if I am - I still have 2 months til I would be out of the first trimester. That seems like forever.... but that is the imaginary goal that I have set for myself. I don't trust the first u/s or the heartbeat, or any of that, because I had that before....
Maybe, I can hibernate and wake up 4 mos pregnant. What do you think? I'd still get to experience most of it, and wouldn't have as many of the worries.
