Blah, Blah, Broken Record

Oct. 31st, 2009 04:57 pm
lyssac: House giving Cuddy shot (ttc)
[personal profile] lyssac

In the continuing saga that is my messed up cycle this month: Yesterday am I took one of the pregnancy tests that I had from the hospital with FMU and it was negative.

However, I still have not started menstruating. My cervix has headed for parts so far north I can barely find it, and is completely closed, and for the last two days, I am wet all of the time, to the point that I think it may finally be AF, but it's just CM. It doesn't have any texture, though... not eggwhite, not stretchy, not even like arousal, just wet.

I generally have a fairly short LP (11-12 days), and I am 17dpo at this point, by my calculations; so, the only thing that I can think is that maybe I didn't ovulate after all, and I've just got the wrong end of the stick. I can't find my thermometer right now.

My body is telling me differently though.. I am PMSing. My breasts hurt all of the time, and get really bad about the same time every evening (6-11pm) to the point where, I'm grabbing them in public, until I realize what I'm doing.

I am continually crampy, painfully so, though this cycles some, too. Basically, I have all of the symptoms of early pregnancy/really, really bad PMS.

I don't know what to do/think at this point. Part of me wants this resolved, part of me thinks the BFN means that it has, part of me thinks "Good. Maybe I am pregnant, but if I don't KNOW, I can't worry about it, and one day, I'll be way past my first trimester and 'Surprise!'.

*rolls eyes* I mean, I know I'm not the sanest chick on the internets, but something has got to give here, and I'm afraid that it's going to be my sanity.

I'm going to go sit in a dark corner and cry now.
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